Green Sprouts
by Legendary Goddess
Summary: [for the 1000 theme challenge] [COMPLETE] Ed and Envy have their moments and get into some big trouble with the others like Winry and…Roy? And what are they trying to do? This is YAOI don’t read if you don’t like. mentions of mpreg.
1. Armor

**Title:** Green Sprouts

**Authoress: **Legendary Goddess

**Genre: **Romance/Humor/Fluff

**Rating: **T

**Manga: **Fullmetal Alchemist

**Pairing:** Envy/Ed

**Summery:** Ed and Envy have their moments and get into some big trouble with the others like Winry and…Roy? And what are they trying to do? This is YAOI don't read if you don't like. Mentions of mpreg.

**Word Count: **310

**Theme:** Armor

Me: Well, I needed to have six more themes up before the 22nd so I decided Hey why not just type them. Yes I am still going to be posting on my other drabble 'Inuyasha Tale of Tails' but I needed to post some for this one too, since I already have the other six chapters for IToT already written and I needed six unwritten chapters so here we are.

Goddess (Inner Me): Hope you enjoy!

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Ed was up late, he had no reason to be, he just was. He had been studying Al's armor, making sure it wasn't rusted or that it hadn't broken or cracked. But that had been last night. Tonight something was just bothering him. He had this feeling that someone was watching him. So he decided to take a walk. Who cares that homunculi are roaming the streets, he didn't, besides he was just walking down to the station and back.

He had been walking no more than five minuets when he had the distinct feeling he was being followed. He kept walking but then he heard it. Whatever it was that was following him had just tripped and whispered shit.

"Alright come out." Ed told the person.

"How'd ya know?"

"I heard you cuss."

"Oh. Well you shouldn't be out so late, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to the station to pick up some of my papers on Al's armor and the transmutation I've been working on. But I don't see how any of this concerns you…Envy."

"Envy? But I'm Roy. I don't know what's gotten into you Full Metal but you acting really strange."

"Give it up Envy." Ed said growing bored.

"You ruin the fun, O-chibi-san."

"Don't call me that!"

"Ok, Edo-koi then."

"Fine! Uke!"

"What! No way! I'm not Uke you are!"

'Since when have we been in that kind of a relationship Envy?" Ed asked as they entered the station and collected his notes.

"Since now armor boy!" Envy said as he knocked him down.

"I won't complain." Ed smirked. "But you get to tell Roy."

Envy gave him a sly smile, "Not if I have the notes on Al's armor." He said as he got up and started to run.

"Give those back!" Ed yelled after him as her chased him into the night.

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Me: Well I hope you enjoyed it. It was fun to type!

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	2. Articles

**Word Count: **422

**Theme:** Articles

Me: Hey guess what, I decided to make this and actual story instead of a bunch of drabbles, the chapters will just be really short, but they will be chapters not one-shots.

Goddess: Well that's nice!

Me: Enjoy!

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"Ed, I need you to write up some articles over what you've learned about the homunculi." Roy told him

"Is this punishment for going out with Envy?" Ed asked.

"Well I guess you could put it that way." Roy gave him the smile that said it all, the small innocent smile. When Riza walked in.

"Are you slacking off again?" She gave him _the look_ every one dreaded it because they knew what happened after they were given _the look_. Riza pointed her gun at Roy's temple. "Now work!" She ordered.

"Yes ma'am!" Roy whimpered as he got to work.

"Ed laughed at the poor man's misfortune. Then he sulked off to do the articles he was ordered to do.

"Hey Edo-koi!"

"Go away Envy, I'm not in the mood."

"Why?"

"Because thanks to you Roy saddled me with articles about everything I've learned so far about the homunculi."

"I'm sorry, but do you know what would've happened to me if I told him?"

"No what?"

"He would've turned me into barbeque before I could blink."

"Well that is true. Now if you don't mind I have a rather long article to write." Ed sat down and started writing a list of facts he had learned. Envy looked over his shoulder. They continued like this until Ed had finished and Envy had made sure it was right.

"You know what you should do?" Envy said. He whispered into Ed's ear. Ed's bored expression turned into a rather large devious smile.

"You know what Envy, I really like that idea." Ed smirked as he wrote something on a sheet of paper and got up to turn in his article.

"Here Mustang." Ed said as he handed him the piece of paper with the single line on it.

"What's this?"

"My article. Don't you like it?"

"It says 'I know nothing.' How is this what you know…"

Ed smiled as realization dawned on Roy.

"Damnit! Ed I need that article."

"But I gave it to you."

"So you mean to tell me that the FOUR HOURS you spent in you office, were spent thinking up this fucking line!"

"Yep!" A vein popped on Roy's forehead.

"Ok fine, before you kill me here." Ed handed him a thick stack of papers. That's the real article." He gave the colonel a sly look as Riza walked in the room, "And Riza is here to make sure that you do you work!" Ed smirked as Riza's gun met with Roy's temple for the second time that day.

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Me: Heh heh, poor Roy, and is that how you spell colonel? I'm not sure.

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	3. Backfire

**Word Count: **262

**Theme:** Backfire

Me: I'm so tired, it's one in the morning and goddess is asleep already, so this is my last update till I wake up. Hope you enjoy!

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A couple of weeks after the article incident with Roy, Ed and Envy were on the secluded island, where they met wrath. They had drawn the human transmutation circle and Envy was in the middle of it.

"You sure you want to do this Edo? It's ok if you don't your risking your life and I'm glad you want to help me, but you really don't have to."

"It's not that I have to, it's that I want to." Ed smiled at his green haired lover.

"What if it backfires?"

"It won't."

"But what if it does."

"It won't."

"But…"

"Envy! It won't, I've studied and I've almost got it right, we just have to make sure. Besides, it's better to stay positive."

"What ever you say." Envy shrugged.

"Now, pick what you want to look like as a human."

Envy transformed into a taller version of Ed.

"Are you picking a fight?"

"Just kidding." Envy changed into his usual palm tree look.

"Good choice!" Ed smiled as he clapped his hands together and slammed them down of the circle.

Light glowed around Envy. His skin became tanner, more human like, but other than that there was no difference, his eyes stayed purple, his hair stayed green, his skimpy outfit didn't change, but the tattoo that was on his left leg disappeared.

"See it didn't backfire." Ed said triumphantly.

"So you were right, now let's go show old Roy what you did."

"Sure!"

"But first, it's your turn, can you get your arm and leg back?"

"Only one way to find out."

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Me: So sleepy, Please review, sorry for the cliffhanger…'night oh and Buh Bye!


	4. Attachment

**Word Count: **318

**Theme: **Attachment

Me: Pay a lot of attention to this chapter; it plays a big part latter in the story.

Goddess: Sorry it took so long to update. She had a lot to do; after all she wanted to finish updating her other stories. But now this story is her top priority.

Me: Yep! Please enjoy!

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When Ed came to he was on a hospital bed. He looked around and noticed Envy was sitting on the floor, bright purple eyes on him, and a relived smile plastered on his face. All of a sudden a wrench connected with his head.

"ED! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Winry yelled.

"Damn woman!" Envy yell. "You trying to kill him?!"

"NO! That's what he was trying to do!"

Realization hit Ed at full force. He had tried to get his arm and leg back.

"Did it work?" He asked Envy.

"See for yourself Edo-koi."

Ed pulled the covers back and saw his flesh arm and leg back where they were supposed to be.

"Why am I in a hospital?"

"Well, because you were stupid, you managed to get your arm and leg back, but you ended up unconscious with the two limbs unattached. Because of some recent alchemy advancements the doctors were able to attach the two limbs to your body but you needed to be hospitalized to make sure nothing else was wrong with you." Winry explained.

"Nothing's wrong, you just have to drink lots of milk."

"WHAT?! I HATE THAT STUFF! IT'S DAMN COW JUICE!"

"But because you haven't used you arm and leg in years, the bones in them are extremely weak."

"There is no way you will get me to drink that stuff." Ed pouted. Winry left the room, knowing a fight was about to start and she didn't want to be a part of it.

"I'll make you." Envy smirked as soon as Winry was gone.

"Oh yeah, how?"

Envy drank the milk and crashed his lips to Ed's. When Ed gasped in surprise Envy opened his mouth and milk flooded into Ed's. Envy left Ed's lips and smirked.

"See, I told you!" Envy laughed.

"It tastes better when you give it to me." Ed explained with an evil glint in his eyes.

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Me: Well there you have it. Chapter four is finally up.

Goddess: Please, please, we beg of you, review, there are no reviews for this story, and we would really appreciate it if you would.

Me: Please…-sniff- Buh Bye!


	5. Arousals

**Word Count: **266

**Theme: **arousals

Me: I really, really like this chapter.

Goddess: Hope you enjoy it to!

Me: Yep, enjoy!

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Ed was released from the hospital a week later.

"Hey Edo-koi, where's Al?"

"On a mission."

"So we have the apartment to ourselves?"

"Yeah…" Ed blushed at the implication.

Envy noticed and decided it was time for some devious pranks. He walked over to Ed, who was on the sofa, and sat down, Ed just looked at him. Envy then kissed him, not deep or long, just a chaste kiss. Then he pulled Ed onto his lap.

"You feel that?" Envy whispered.

Ed shook his head.

"You make me hard." Envy whispered in his ear seductively. Smirking at the blush creeping its way up onto Ed's cheeks.

"Envy, don't do that." Ed tried to complain, which proved hard to do when his boyfriend was stroking him in places that he shouldn't have.

"Now your hard too." Envy smirked. "You might want to take a nice long ice cold shower now, or how about after me?"

"Damnit Envy! Don't tease me like that! I'm not your toy!"

Envy smirked and went to take a shower. But then he heard Ed doing something he never imagined Ed would do. He was crying. Envy worried ran down stairs.

"Edo-koi, what's wrong?"

That just made Ed cry harder. "Don't call me that!"

"Why?"

"I'm just a toy to you aren't I?"

"No, what gave that idea?"

"You only tease me, like today."

"No, baby, your not only a toy to me, you're my everything, I swear." He told the still crying Ed, while cuddling him.

"Really, you mean it?"

"Yes I really do." Envy smiled. Now go take a shower.

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Me: Please tell me if I should do a lemon. I want to know.

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	6. Bed

**Word Count: **207

**Theme:** Bed

Me: I thought this was funny.

Goddess: I agree!

Me: Enjoy!

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After Ed finished his shower he decided that he wanted to go to bed and no purple-eyed palm tree was going to stop him.

"Whatcha' doing?"

"Going to bed. Why?"

"I was just curious as to what you were doing." Envy smiled innocently.

"What did you do?' Ed asked not fooled by Envy's act.

"I swear it burst into flames on accident! I had nothing to do with it! I'm innocent for once!"

"WHAT'S ON FIRE?!"

"Your bed." Envy hid his grin and bottled the giggles. But Ed's face when he saw his bed was too funny, and Envy collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughing.

"WHAT THE HELL! WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP?"

"You can share my bed."

"This had Roy written all over it." Ed said as he ignored the palm tree.

"Ahem, I said you could share my bed."

"How should I get him back?" Ed was deep in thought.

BAM! Envy tackled him to the floor.

"You should listen when I'm talking to you."

"Did you say something?" Ed asked with a serious expression.

"Very funny," Envy said as he cracked a smile, "and you know, I kind of like these positions."

Ed blushed and let Envy lead him to his bed.

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Me: See, It's implied! Oh and yes envy is innocent, it was Roy. I'm begging you…

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	7. Bloody Sunday

**Word Count: **205

**Theme:** Bloody Sunday

Me: This is kind of a leading chapter, kind of like filler to explain some small things that play a big part in the next chapter.

Goddess: remember this along with chapter 4.

Me: Enjoy!

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It had been four months of hell. Ever since Ed's burned down, and they had 'slept' in Envy's he had been a wreck. The smallest thing pissed him off, he was never happy, and his appetite had taken a turn for the worse. Everything was topped off on Sunday when Ed a huge outburst.

"So, Edo-koi, what would you like for breakfast?" Before Ed could answer, "I made pancakes." He set them down in front of Ed, who looked at them, back up at Envy, back to the pancakes when…

WHAM!

"What the FUCK! If you didn't want them all you had to do was say so! You didn't have push them on the floor!"

"They're icky! I want milk!"

Envy's jaw dropped. "You want what?"

"MILK!"

'I hate fucking bloody Sundays! Something like this happens every fucking Sunday!' Envy thought

"Ok, are you feeling alright? Because you _never_ drink milk!"

"No, my head hurts." Ed said before throwing up last night's inner and passing out.

Envy panicked.

-At the hospital-

"So what's wrong, concussion, malnutrition? He hasn't had much to eat," Envy told the doctor, "Maybe that's what is causing his mood swings." Envy muttered to himself.

"No," the doctor missed the muttered statement. "Something far _stranger_."

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Me: Well thank you so much for reviewing!

Goddess: Please keep them coming!

Me: Oh and-

Goddess: the last chapter was the halfway point.

Me: Buh Bye!


	8. Beauty in the Breakdown

**Word Count: **249

**Theme:** Beauty in the breakdown

Me: Well, here is chapter eight, only four more to go.

Goddess: Yep!

Me: Enjoy!

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"HE'S WHAT!" Envy yelled as he grabbed for the doctor's throat. "You are so damn lucky that he's asleep! If he wasn't you'd be so screwed!" Envy continued to rant stopping only because he was out of breath. "But how is that even possible? He's a GUY!"

"Well it happened when the doctor's used alchemy to attach his arm and leg. It…err…rearranged his organs."

"REARRANGED! MORE LIKE CHANGED! GOD DAMNIT! WHEN HE FINDS OUT HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU, THEN ME!" Envy was enraged as well as panicked, but he decided that telling him sooner rather than later was a better idea.

"Edo-koi, I have to tell you what's wrong." Envy said as soon as he walked into Ed's room and woke him up. Ed just cocked his head to the side. "Well, um, you're pregnant, four months into it in fact." Ed laughed hysterically.

"My god! Envy you had me for a minute there!" he laughed, "now seriously, what's wrong with me?"

"I told you. I wasn't kidding Edo."

"B-but I can't, how?" He chocked out, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"When the doctors attached your arm and leg with alchemy." Envy said wrapping an arm comfortingly around Ed's shoulders as he broke down.

"I'll be short, fat, and ugly now!" He wailed.

"No you won't be. Your beautiful even now." Envy smiled earnestly looking at Ed's red blotchy face.

"Really?"

"Yes." He replied snuggling up with his boyfriend. "Your beautiful even when you cry."

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Me: Whelp, what did ya think?

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	9. At What Cost?

**Word Count: **485

**Theme:** at what cost

Me: So, I decided that I want to finish this story today, so I'll be posting the last four chapters as I type them.

Goddess: Wow, that's a lot of work.

Me: Not really. Enjoy!

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After the initial shock of finding out his 'condition' he then realized that he was in his second trimester, meaning that he would soon be showing signs, such as a bloating belly.

"Envy, what am I going to do about Roy, I already got him back for burning my bed, and I'm afraid that if I tell him that I'm pregnant he would tell everyone, then I'd be embarrassed and not be able to go back to work."

"Edo-koi, just say that you and you boyfriend are going on a seven month vacation."

"Seven months! Do you think he would believe me?"

"Well, I thought we would have this discussion sooner or later, so I went ahead and booked a flight to a tropical island, and bought a small beach house, all we have to do is pack and tell Roy."

"W-what!" Ed spluttered thoroughly amazed at the quick thinking of his lover. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"WHAT!"

"I already packed my stuff, and furniture is being delivered as we speak, oh and I packed half of your stuff, you just have to pack anything important, like pictures, or precious items. You also have to tell Roy."

"You really are amazing." Ed smiled at him before standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"To tell Roy, after all, the sooner the better."

Ed set off to work, and tried to act as normal as possible. As soon as he got to Roy's office, he ignored the 'Do not disturb' sign and barged right in. unfortunately he burst in on a make-out session between a blushing Roy and a spluttering Riza.

"Um, sorry," he told them before gulping, "I'm taking a seven month vacation."

"NO!" Roy yelled, "You haven't earned it."

"I'm leaving tomorrow, I've worked for you for three years, not taking on day off, I think I deserve this, I'll be back to work in seven months. See you later colonel, first lieutenant." He saluted and walked off to his apartment.

"So Edo, how did it go?"

"Good, but I think I lost my job."

"Why?"

"I didn't really let Roy or Riza say anything."

"Well, you can always try to get it back later."

"Yeah, but at what cost?"

"Huh?"

"Roy will probably want to know what we did, and probably ask me a lot of personal questions, he might even find out about our child."

That was the first time that Ed had actually acknowledged that there was a small, unborn child inside of him.

"So what. Who cares if he and other people find out? We're happy together now, and I'm sure we'll be happy together when out baby is born."

Ed smiled, "Envy you're right. I'm so glad that I have such a smart, wonderful, caring boyfriend."

Envy blushed.

"Well, I'm going to pack, take a shower and go to bed so that I'm all rested for the flight tomorrow."

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Me: So what did you think?

Goddess: It was longer than some of your other chapters.

Me: Heh heh, yep! Buh Bye!


	10. Bored

**Word Count: **440

**Theme:** Bored

Me: sorry that it took so long to get up, I kept getting distracted.

Goddess: As always.

Me: Hey! Enjoy!

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The flight was a long one. And Envy decided that a nap was exactly what he needed so Ed, who was well rested thanks to him going to bed so early last night, was left to twiddle his thumbs with nothing to do. After a good two hours of doing nothing he decided that he would try to think of names for his child. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and dived the paper in half. The left said boy and the right said girl.

"Whatcha' doing Edo-koi?" Ed jumped; he hadn't known that Envy was awake.

"Um, I'm thinking of names for our child."

"Oh, can I help?"

"Sure, actually I would prefer if you helped me. I was bored then I thought what are we going to call the child."

"Well, I think that if it's a girl, we should call her Winry."

Ed smiled, " You know, I agree." So Ed wrote 'Winry' in the right column. He wrote 'Trisha' 'Rose' and 'Riza' under that.

"What about Nina and Paninya."

Ed laughed at this, and added them to the list. " I think if it's a boy, Alphonse would e a good name."

"I think that's a fine choice. But what about Maes?"

Ed solemnly added the name under Alphonse.

"Hey, you forgot Roy."

Ed busted his sides laughing. Tears started coming out of his eyes because of how funny he found it. After calming down enough, he sloppily wrote Roy down. "I think that's enough names for now. After all, we can only choose one."

"Unless, we pick two, one for the first and one for the middle name."

Ed brightened at the thought of using two of his friend's names. He and Envy sat and talked about how they would break the news to Winry and Al. Ed was scared because he didn't want wrenches thrown at him, Envy, or his child. They kept this up the entire plane ride and came to the conclusion that they would call the two after the baby was born and tell them, mainly because nothing could be thrown at them, so there would be no physical pain, only verbal abuse would occur at worst.

When the plane landed they two collected their luggage and hailed a taxi, which took them to their new beach side house. When they got in, they saw boxes and boxes of furniture.

"Well, we'd better start unpacking." Envy said. So the two started unpacking and rearranging the furniture. After five hours of arguing, and complaining on Ed's behalf, they had finished and collapsed into their beds, falling asleep instantly.

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Me: Well, please tell me what you think.

Goddess: Oh, and there is a time jump to-

Me: Don't tell, they just have to know that there is a very large time jump.

Goddess: Sorry. Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	11. Birthday

**Word Count: **944

**Theme:** Birthday

Me: this is officially the last chapter, but there is a chapter after this. And there is major time jumping.

Goddess: It's a song fic!

Me: Enjoy!

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It had been almost five months since Envy and he had moved to the tropical island, and his cell phone had been ringing off the hook, Winry and Al he didn't really mind, but Roy calling him to tell him to come back really did bother him, especially when he cracked jocks about Ed being short, that is he did do it on a day when Ed had a very emotional mood swing, and he started to cry. Roy started apologizing then Ed started flirting with him. Saying that he was sweet and hot, which angered Envy who grabbed the phone and told poor confused Roy that Ed had been having a bad day and had gotten too much sun.

"OW!" Ed yelled clutching his stomach on chilly afternoon. Envy came running.

"What's wrong?"

"My stomach! Hos-hospital!" Ed managed between screams.

Envy rushed him to the nearest hospital, and called for a doctor. They had been to the hospital before because Ed needed his check ups. So the doctor understood the condition and rushed them in to a room.

After a lot of encouragement from Envy and pushing on Ed's part, he gave one final yell and the doctor rushed out of the room with a bundle. Envy was also rushed out of the room as the nurses started to attend to a now unconscious Ed. As he waited outside, he continued to pace, worried about his lover's health and his child's as well. He had to stand there pacing for three hours before the doctor rushed back into the room Ed was in with the bundle. A few minuets later he returned to Envy and told him that he could go in and see his boyfriend and child. Envy walked slowly into the room. And saw Ed holding a now very large bundle.

"Hey baby." Ed said weakly.

"What is it?"

"A boy…"

"Roy." Envy smiled.

"And girl." Ed smiled.

"TWINS!" Envy's eyes bulged.

"Yeah, look, the boy has your green hair but my golden eyes. And the girl has my blonde hair and your purple eyes." Envy walked to the side of Ed's bed and looked at his children.

"They're beautiful."

"Yeah, I think the girl will be Riza Winry, and the boy is Roy Alphonse."

Envy laughed. "Why them?"

"They're like family to me. After all, I'm sure Riza and Roy will get a kick out of it when we get back."

After signing some documents and birth certificates, they went home and got formula ready, to feed the two little bundles.

"This is the best birthday present I've ever gotten."

"WHAT?"

"Oh, I thought I told you, today is my birthday."

"Really?"

Ed started laughing, "I was kidding, no my birthday is next week."

The last two months past by quickly, there was only one day left before they left for home, Ed had already told Al about it, and he was ecstatic about being an uncle, but he hadn't told Winry yet. He still had a day left, but he decided it was now or never to tell Winry. So he picked up the phone.

"Winry…"

"HEY ED! So nice to hear from you!"

"Um, well I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Curiosity was dripping from her voice.

"I had two kids."

"WHAT!"

"I have a son and daughter, you're an aunt."

He heard a thunk and then Pinako answered the phone. "Al told me, but I guess Winry didn't take it well, seeing as she passed out on the floor, I'll visit you when you get back. I'll see you soon Ed."

"See you Pinako." And he hung up.

The plane ride was torture because the kids wouldn't stop crying. But once they got to the apartment everyone was shocked, Al saw the kids and everyone saw a human Al.

"Al! How did you get your body back?"

"I found your notes and managed to continue the research, I made a breakthrough and you can see the results."

Envy decided to stay home with Al who was even happier at the mention of his name being Roy's middle name, while Ed took the kids to work.

When he got to Roy's office practically everyone knew of what Ed had been doing, except for Roy and Riza who were in Roy's office. Ed barged in just like he had when he announced he was going on vacation, except this time Riza had a gun pressed to Roy's temple while he did his paperwork.

At the bang of the door they both looked up to see Ed holding two kids. Their eyes bugged.

"You didn't _have_ them did you?" The two astounded officials asked

"Yep! Colonel Roy lieutenant Riza, Meet Riza Winry Elrich and Roy Alphonse Elrich."

"You named them after us, why?" Riza asked.

"You guys mean so much to me so I thought it was fitting to name them after you."

Neither Ed nor Envy turned it to Maes, obsessing over pictures, but they almost always brought their kids to work. As the years passed the two kids grew looking more like their parents every day, and they were never ashamed of having two fathers. They all lived happily until the twins fifth birthday when Ed had a 'super special announcement' they were going to have a sister or a brother. This made them even happier. Life went on and a new brother was added to the family, he was named Maes Edward Elrich.

They all bought a house close to Ed's work; the apartment was too small for the five of them and Al. They lived there happily and the kids grew up well.

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Me: Well I suck at endings, so it might seem kind of strange.

Goddess: Oh well, you tried.

Me: Don't forget the last chapter, kind of…

Goddess: Please review!

Me: Buh Bye!


	12. Band of Brothers

**Word Count: **1,320

**Theme:** Band of Brothers

Me: And finally, here is the last chapter. It has nothing to do with the story, besides the fact that it has the characters that were in the story. Any ways I'll let Goddess do the honors.

Goddess: Yay! Ok, she doesn't own the characters, unless they're Ed and Envy's kids, and the songs aren't owned by her either. They belong to the awesome musical called Avenue Q. Oh and beware, explicit lyrics and themes! **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

Me: Oh and if you go to and type in Roy's not wearing underwear then you'll see where I got the inspiration for this. Enjoy!

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The whole gang was up on stage ready to sing their songs.

Now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, the Band of Brothers! The announcer boomed.

And sisters! Yelled an angry Winry, Riza, and Riza Elrich.

Yes, and sisters! Now, on with the show!

_Roy_

I'm not wearing any underwear today!

No I'm not wearing any underwear today!

Not that you probably care much about my underwear,

Still nonetheless I gotta saaaaaaaay,

That I'm not wearing any underwear todaaaaay!

_Riza_

Getta job!

_Roy_

Thank you…hunnie?

_Envy_

What do you do with a B.A. in English?

What is my life going to be?

Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge,

Have earned me a useless degree!

I can't pay the bills yet,

Cuz I have no skills yet,

The world is a big scary place,

But somehow I can't shake,

The feeling I might make,

A difference,

To the human race!

_Roy Alphonse Elrich_

I wish you could meet my girlfriend,  
But you can't because she is in Canada.  
I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her,  
So soon I'll be off to Alberta!  
I mean Vancouver!  
Shit! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancou-  
She's my girlfriend!  
My wonderful girlfriend!  
Yes I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada!!

_Winry and Riza Winry Elrich_

Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy.

**I'll say.**

But when I see how sad you are, I makes me kind of happy!

**Happy?**

Sorry Nicky human nature, nothing I can do! It's Schadenfreude, makin' me feel glad that I'm not you! Ha ha!

**That's not very nice Gary,**

I didn't say it was nice, but everybody does it! Did ya ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

**Yeah.**

And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters fallin' on their asses?

**Ha, ha sure!**

Don't ya feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain?

**You bet!**

That's Schadenfreude, people taking pleasure in your pain!

**Hm. Schadenfreude huh? Wh-what's that, some kind of Nazi word?**

Yep! It's German for happiness at the misfortune of others.

**Happiness at the misfortune of others, that is German!**

_Riza_

The more you love someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
The more you love someone,  
The more he make you cry  
Though you are try  
For making peace  
With them and loving,  
That's why you love so strong  
You like to make him die!  
The more you love someone,  
The more he make you crazy.  
The more you love someone,  
The more you wishing him dead!  
Sometime you look at him  
And only see fat and lazy,  
And wanting baseball bat  
For hitting him on his head!

Love

_Love_

And hate

_And hate_

They like two brothers

_Brothers_

Who go on a date

_Who... what?_

Where one of them goes,  
Other one follows  
You inviting love  
He also bringing sorrows

_Ah, yes._

The more you love someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
Loving and killing  
Fit like hand in glove!

_Hand in glove._

So if there someone  
You are wanting so  
To kill 'em.  
You go and find him.  
And you get him.  
And you no kill him.  
'Cause chances good  
Both:  
He is your love.

Maes Edward Elrich and Ed 

_Ed _

The internet is really really great  
_Maes_

For porn  
_Ed_  
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait  
_Maes _  
For porn  
_Ed_  
Huh?  
There's always some new site,  
_Maes_  
For porn!  
_Ed_

I browse all day and night  
_Maes_  
For porn!  
_Ed_  
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light  
_Maes_  
For porn!  
_Ed_  
Maes!  
_Maes_  
The internet is for porn  
_Ed_  
Maes!  
_Maes_  
The internet is for porn,  
_Ed_  
What are you doing!?  
_Maes_  
Why you think the net was born?  
Porn porn porn  
_Ed_  
Maaaaaeeeees!  
_Maes_  
Oh hello Ed  
_Ed_  
You are ruining my song  
_Maes_  
Oh me sorry, me no mean to  
_Ed_  
Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?  
_Maes_  
Me no talkie  
_Ed_  
Good  
I'm glad we have this new technology  
_Maes_  
For porn  
_Ed_  
Which gives us untold opportunity  
_Maes_  
For por—oops, sorry  
_Ed_  
Right from you own desktop  
_Maes_  
For ---  
_Ed_  
You can research browse and shop  
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop  
_Maes_  
FOR PORN!!  
_Ed_

Maes!  
_Maes_  
The internet is for porn!  
_Ed_  
Noooo  
_Maes_  
The internet if for porn!  
_Ed_  
Maes  
_Maes_  
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!  
_Ed_  
That's gross you're a pervert  
_Maes_  
Ah, sticks and stones Ed monster  
_Ed_  
NO really, your a pervert  
Normal people don't sit at home and look  
At porn on the internet  
_Maes_  
Ohhhh?  
_Ed_  
What?!  
_Maes_  
You have no idea  
Ready normal people?  
_Normal People_  
Ready--- ready ----ready  
_Maes_  
Let me hear it!  
_Maes and Guys_  
The internet is for porn!  
_Envy _  
Sorry Ed  
_Maes and Guys_  
The internet is for porn!  
_Envy_  
I masturbate!  
_Maes and Guys_  
All these guys unzip their flies  
For porn, porn, porn!  
_Ed_  
The internet is not for porn!!

_Maes and Guys_  
PORN!, PORN, P---  
_Ed_  
HOLD ON A SECOND!  
Now I know for a fact that you, Roy Elrich, check your portfolio and trade stocks online  
_Roy Elrich_  
That's correct.  
_Ed_  
And Roy, you buy things on   
_Roy_  
Sure!  
_Ed_  
And Winry, you keep selling your possessions on EBay  
_Winry_  
Yes I do!  
_Ed_  
And Envy, you sent me that sweet online birthday card   
_Envy_  
True!  
_Maes_  
Oh, but Ed-  
What you think he do . . .after? Hmm?  
_Envy _  
…yeah  
_Ed_  
EEEWWWWW!   
_Maes and Guys_  
The internet is for porn!   
_Ed_  
Gross!  
_Maes and Guys_  
The internet is for porn!  
_Ed_  
I hate porn  
_Maes and Guys_  
Grab your dick and double click  
_Ed_  
I hate you men!  
_Maes and Guys_  
For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn  
_Ed_  
I'm leaving!  
_Maes and Guys_   
Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn  
_Ed_  
I hate the internet!  
_Maes and Guys_  
Porn, porn, porn, porn  
_Maes_  
The internet is for  
_Maes and some_   
The internet is for  
_Maes and all_  
The internet is for PORN!  
_Maes _  
YEAH!

"And now for something so special you can only see it here! Legendary Goddess singing!"

"Thank you all! Now, I have some thing very important to say after I sing some please listen!"

_Legendary Goddess_

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;  
a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;  
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love  
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;  
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."  
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,  
But there's a fine, fine line between love  
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.  
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.  
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door  
And walk away...  
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not  
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.  
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love  
And a waste of time.

"Well, I would like to say thank you all oh so much and have a great day!"

"Well everybody, that was the Band of Brothers!" The announcer said.

"And Sisters!" Riza, Riza Elrich, Winry, and Crystal yelled.

"Ow…" The announcer said as a gun, pliers, a wrench, and a laptop hit his head. Leaving the four girls smirking.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: Well, there you have it, I really like this last chapter, and I thought it was funny. Please check out my other work! Oh, and now on to the thanks!

Thanks to my lovely friends who put this on their alerts:

**Ling Yao**

**Jazzylin-sama**

**Karin85**

**Silver Candle**

Thanks to the one person who added this to their favorites:

**Ling Yao**

And the biggest thanks of all go to my wonderful, fantastic reviewers:

**Ling Yao**

**Silver Candle**

This is for you, I honestly thought that no one thought this story was good enough to leave a comment, even though I was going to finish posting it anyways, you made me really happy, and gave me the will to update faster. Cyber cookies to you!

Goddess: Well it is very late, and we must go.

Me: No it's not!

Goddess: Fine! Please leave one last review; it would make Crystal very happy.

Me: Oh and Crystal is me, legendary Goddess. But thanks again, and now the final good bye. Buh Bye!


End file.
